What to Do When You are Not Happy in Your Marriage

‘A long but unhappy marriage is not a successful marriage.’
Staying in an unhappy marriage can be quite depressing! Life is short and you should be making wise decisions. Deciding to stay in an unhappy marriage could be risky, but you can always do your best before you call it ‘quits’.
Before going forward, we will ask you one simple question.
What makes you unhappy?
Men and women talk about unhappiness, but they never point out as to what is making them unhappy.
A very wise professor of Sociology asked the following question –
”Why do we look for happiness in a marriage? Think about it!”
For starters, you must ask yourself as to what is making you unhappy! Once you have found the answer, it is easy to talk to your partner about the existing issues. Make them aware of your true feelings before it is too late.
Let’s cut to the chase and answer the following question for you –
What to do when you are not happy in your marriage? Read on to find out about the things you can do to spice up your marital life or ‘find’ happiness.
Make a List Of Things That Make You Unhappy
Please know that a relationship survives and thrives when both partners are madly in love. Your partner may be unhappy with you and they will have their reasons too.
Take a pen and paper. Note down the things that make you unhappy. We’d be happy to list some for you:
• The sex is monotonous.
• We haven’t had sex for the past one month.
• We always talk about duties towards kids, bills, and so on.
• We argue and fight with each other all the time.
• He/she cheated on me.
• I do not trust my partner.
• He/she does not listen to me.
• They do not appreciate anything I do!
• My partner is not ambitious.
• He/she does not take any responsibility!
• My partner stares at other men/women.
• My partner is annoying! Everything they do is irksome for me.
These are some of the issues that we laid out on the table. There could be more problems and we will be happy if you could list them down on paper.
Once you have written down what makes you unhappy, you can move to the second phase.
Does your partner know about your feelings?
When you get married to someone, you are giving them a part of your soul. If your partner does not know about your feelings, they would never stop or make amends!
Send the kids to their grandparent’s home, set a table for two and talk about the existing problems.
Perhaps your partner would start working on those issues and you will have a better relationship. Tell them that there is something lacking in the relationship! Before you pull all the strings and work hard to make your relationship a happy place, let your partner know that there are issues.
Skim Through the List
Did you make a list of things that make you unhappy? Now read it 10 times over and you will find that certain issues are not as big. If your partner does not know how to cook, that is not a good reason to be unhappy.
In case your partner is not going down on you, tell them about your desires and sexual fantasies.
There are some petty reasons that can be sorted. All you need to do is talk to your partner about it.
Listen To Your Partner
Whenever you set up a date with your partner, share your concerns but listen to them as well.
Your partner will have some concerns too! While talking, never get defensive or try to score points. You both are unhappy and have to come up with solutions.
We are solution-focused and not problem-focused.
Bring Some Changes In Your Life
You are in an unhappy union. Now is the time to bring a change. Make plans with your partner, seduce them, communicate or even kidnap them for a little vacation.
When you truly love your partner, you will do everything it takes to get them back on the ship. Try hard till you fail! Love is worth all the attempts.
If your partner is distant or does not take interest, rekindle the lost romance. You can do things that she/he loved doing before!
What if your partner cheats on you?
It is possible that you are unhappy because your partner cheated on you. Some big-hearted people forgive and forget. Would you forget? Forgiving is quite personal, really.
In case your partner is cheating on you and is lying straight on your face, it is time to end the relationship. They found happiness somewhere else and NOW is your time to be happy.
If your partner chooses to sleep with another person and lies to you, go find your bliss. Talk to your partner and end the relationship.
There are rare instances when a partner forgives and the cheating partner changes for good. You will always regret forgiving them and forgetting the painful past.
Concluding Thoughts
We believe that having multiple sexual partners or being in love with several people is not wrong. However, end your existing marriage before you jump to another relationship.
If you are unhappy, you should not make that an excuse for cheating on your partner. End the relationship with your present spouse and then find happiness in another woman/man’s arms.
Is that doable? Yes, it certainly is!
When you are not happy in a marriage, you can also go for therapy. The psychiatrist will meet you on a monthly/weekly basis. They will talk to you and help you find ways to mend things.
If everything fails, you would know the drill.
It is possible that you might find happiness in your second or third marriage. But, do everything to save your present marital union. Maybe your partner is worth it!

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