How Not To Hate Your Husband After Kids

They say that no one really knows what is going on inside a marriage except the two people who are living it. And that is actually true. In fact, most of the time, not even the kids are deeply privy to what is happening inside their parent’s bedroom. This is because many parents respect their kids and they want to shield them from their marital disputes. However, parents can never really keep their children in the dark for long. Children are sensitive to the feelings of the adults in the house, especially when their mom starts to shoot daggers at their dad. They have that sixth sense that enables them to know that there is a huge shift in the marital relationship, especially when a new baby comes to the family’s life.
Is it normal to hate your husband after children arrived?
Right now, you and your husband may be like cats and dogs and always at each other’s throats. But there was a time in your relationship where you were both loving and cuddling all the time. And then first baby came. You start to fight over small things, and you both blame the adjustment of a new family member to your troubles. And then the second baby arrives, and the tension just gets hotter and heavier. Then the third baby is on the way, and you know in your heart that the friction between you and your better half will only escalate. And so you want to know the process of how not to hate your husband after kids.
Divide household chores
Having children typically means that the house is always on a disarray. The clutter of toys is everywhere, and there seems to be no order of things inside your home. And most of the time, the mess in your house becomes a trigger for you and your husband to fight. So to avoid the surge of anger between you two, you need to both sit down and talk about dividing the household chores. By having your own tasks in the house, you have less reason to be angry at your spouse.
Do not build a wall
You have to understand that men are usually the silent type in a relationship. Just because he sometimes love to watch his TV game more than he likes to help you with kids does not mean that he does not care. Do not assume the worst and shut him completely out. You are only building a wall that he cannot understand. Open up to him and explain what you really want. Have a peaceful conversation like matured adults, and talk about what is keeping you apart.
Schedule a sleeping arrangement
When there is a newborn in the house, both parents gets less and less sleep, and the fatigue turns into angry feelings. To avoid hating your husband for sleeping in on a Saturday while you wake up early to take care of the baby and the other kids, you two must schedule a sleeping arrangement. Allow your husband to wake up late on a Saturday, and you sleep in on Sundays. During the weekdays, schedule nights where you each take care of the baby while the other sleep through the night.
Have sex
A mom’s job is absolutely tiring, but do not forget that before you became a mother, you were a wife first. So never deny your husband to have sex with his wife. Balance your responsibilities between your children and your husband. The demand of your husband is not unfair, because it is human nature to want to have sex. So instead of hating your husband for not understanding you, think of your husband’s needs. If you cannot fulfill it, then be ready to face the consequences as well. Keep in mind that husbands go astray when their basic needs are denied at home.
Tell him what you want
It is a common mistake to think that by smashing things in the kitchen, or shooting killer looks at your husband, he can read your mind. Your partner in life does not have super powers, so never think for a moment that he can figure out what you want without telling him. If you are angry at your better half for not helping you, then tell him so. Do not shout at him, but calmly let him know that you need help. Keeping your anger boiling inside without an outlet will only make you hate your husband, and that is not a good sign of a lasting marriage.
Get a “me time”
As a mother and a wife, your responsibilities can sometimes make you feel so exhausted. There are days when you just wanted an escape, even for just an hour. So when you feel like you are burdened by your role, ask your husband nicely to allow you to go out of the house and breathe. Let your husband take of the children and the whole house while you are gone, and relax. But of course, do not take too long to ensure that your house is still intact when you get home. What is important is you enjoy a “me time”, which calms you down and makes you appreciate your husband.
Final say
Many marriages fail because the husband and wife start to hate each other after they had kids. The responsibilities often gets too overwhelming and not all couples are strong enough to survive the storm. And so make sure that you go the extra mile to keep your family together. You can hate your husband sometimes, but never let it go so far that you cannot find your way back. Start practicing the tips provided in this post on how to lessen your anger at your spouse, and work together to strengthen your marriage. Most of all, never fail to communicate. Talk to each other and understand one another. By always making things clear, your family blossoms.

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